5/26/04

Int. RANDA's apartment. MICHALLE and RANDA are watching a marathon: Sopranos, Aqua Teen, Chapelle's Show, Daily Show.
Commercial for TROY comes on. RANDA throws hissy fit.

RANDA: You know, Brad Pitt is so gross. I hate that it's being shoved down my throat to think he's hot.
MICHALLE: Yeah, he's pretty gross.
RANDA: I refuse to go to see that fucking Troy movie.
MICHALLE: yeah?
RANDA: I'll never go see it. Fuckin' never.
MICHALLE: It looks dumb.
RANDA: So fucking dumb. With fucking Brad Pitt in it. I'll never see that movie.
MICHALLE: What if they gave you a thousand dollars to see it?
RANDA: Of course then I'd see it.
MICHALLE: What if they gave you 20?
RANDA: Are you on crack? No. For a thousand I'd see it.
MICHALLE: What about a hundred?
(beat)
RANDA: OK, for a hundred, too, but not fucking less than a hundred.
MICHALLE: What about $99?
RANDA: Um, No.
MICHALLE: $99 and a popcorn and a coke?
RANDA: Fine, for $99 and popcorn and coke, I'd see it.
MICHALLE: What about $80?
RANDA: fuck no!
MICHALLE: Even if they gave you a popcorn and coke?
(beat)
RANDA: Fine, I would.
MICHALLE: What about $20 and a popcorn and a coke?
RANDA: Goddamn it!
MICHALLE: Well?
(beat)
RANDA: Wait, $20 and a large popcorn and coke? Yeah, I'd see it, then, too!
MICHALLE: Dude, what if they just gave you a popcorn and coke? You'd go see it wouldn't you?
RANDA: (laughter)
MICHALLE: Would you? Would you see it if it was free and they gave you a large popcorn and a coke?
RANDA: Fuckin' A, I guess I would.