Wednesday, November 01, 2006

thirty eight

I got the directory for my son's school today: I was the only single mom on the first page, and this freaked me out a little, so I went through the entire directory, and found thirty eight other single moms. Yippee!

Last night I went trick or treating with another single mom, and although she's no Erika (my original single mama BFF) it was cool to share the experience with someone I could relate to in that way, who could relate back.

I have had a strange week; I was workshopped on Monday, and many suggestions were helpful, but the majority of them were not suited for the story I was trying to write. Which is fairly typical.

In addition, my family came to visit, which would have been fun had my father been a completely different person. The visit ended with a colossal fight, which opened my eyes and made me realize that I no longer wish to pursue a relationship with him.

And then, I started to think about all the relationships I haven't pursued because of him.

It's amazing that, although I consider myself a strong woman, I've sought my father's approval for so many years. Now, I can choose the mate I want, and continue to live the life I choose.

All in all, a heavy week. And a highly productive one, too...


Blogger Leila said...

Oh darling, Randa, the family/father thing is huge. You can't expect yourself to deal with much of anything else in a week with that level of family-of-origin conflict.

And workshop - I am pretty much against critique in workshop. We're reading all these composition studies theorists (and practitioners) and they have been saying for the last thirty years, based on research and experience, that lots of critique doesn't help writers change, grow, or even correct "errors." We're being taught to evaluate student writing with very light pen-marks.

Meanwhile, in M Marcom's fiction workshop, we're reading our work aloud to each other but offering no verbal critique or feedback in class. MM herself makes small notes on the page but not a lot. She's very succinct. It's incredibly inspiring - we're all taking risks.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Elka said...

Hey there,

Father stuff is SO HARD. I am coming to realize more and more the ways I'm affected by my own dad, who's a pretty good one, so....I'm sorry that you've had to go through this over and over again, but proud of you for being so thoughtful and strong.

I wish you and Angelo could come out here over winter break. I'm staying in California. Having my own family drama myself with my brother....

2:25 PM  
Blogger C(h)ristine said...

Oh dude, you know I send you big hugs and a big "I GET THAT!"

I am on board with elka: come visit us if you can!

11:46 PM  
Anonymous Randa said...

Thanks, ladies...I'm so grateful you understand.

I want to come visit you all in the bay area...hopefully soon!

11:52 PM  

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