Thursday, April 28, 2005

Literary Conversations With Mama, Contd.

Mama calls in the evening now. This is because she is pre-menopausal and wakes up at 4AM Middle East Time. Which is 7PM my time. Which is acceptable and good. She called Monday. Here is a snippet of our conversation:
Mama: Hi, Habibti! Are you feeling better?
Me: Yes, much better. Sorry I was so grumpy when we last talked.
Mama: [laughs]
Me: I was depressed about not having a job, and catastrophizing.
Mama: Typical Baba. You were your father, so your father!
Me: Don't say that!
Mama: Don't act like him and I won't say it!
Me: How is Baba?
Mama: He's good. Oh, shut up, shut up, he invited over this guy last night... the one he thought you should marry last year...
Mama: Aiwa, exactly, EW, he was so stupid...
Me: [giggling]
Mama: ...and I thought, how did he think she would like this man?
Me: What did he look like?
Mama: The main problem is, he liked The Da Vinci Code. You know this piece of khara book?
Me: Of course. Did you read it?
Mama: I tried, I swear by Allah, I read the first half and tried to finish. I kept reading and reading and hoping it would get better. But it didn't.
Me: So the guy, my long-lost groom?
Mama: He loved the book! He talked about it so much. He thinks it's real!
Me: Uh-uh!
Mama: I swear by the prophet! He said it's a real story! Such bullshit!
Me: What did he say?
Mama: We were sitting at dinner, he brought up the book. I said I tried to read it, and I couldn't. I said I didn't like the quality of the writing. He was very offended.
Me: [giggle]
Mama: He frowned a little and said "this is a true story. Very important to read."
Me: Seriously?
Mama: And your Baba wanted you to marry this person. What did he look like? He was short and not manly looking AT ALL.
Me: Oh my...
Mama: Anyway, he met a girl over the internet and married her.
Me: Does she like The Da Vinci Code?
Mama: Who cares. Let them have little Da Vinci babies and die. Oh! I forgot to tell you, I got a massage!
Me: Did you love it?
Mama: I felt so much better afterwards.

*Earlier literary conversations with Mama here.


Blogger pandora said...

your mom is hilarious!

4:09 PM  
Blogger said...

you're too funny. i love your voice. i've been reading you at moorish girl and elsewhere on the Web. (yup, i'm stalking you.) i'm glad to see you have your own blog.

4:02 PM  
Blogger dg said...

Mama: "He was short and not manly looking AT ALL."


That sounds eerily like something my mom would've

P.S. Glad to know the good news about your brother.

6:43 AM  
Anonymous Suzi said...

Hilarious. The Da Vinci Code was, indeed, the worst book ever, comparable only to the horrid William Hurt movie "Lost in Space" as a popular disaster (at least "Lost" didn't do well financially). Glad you got your own blog! It's great to read.

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Elka said...

you have a great gift for dialogue.

3:45 PM  
Blogger dg said...

"Lost in Space"

I wonder what chasm of self-sustenance Hurt would've had to delve into to endure that kind of insanity.:-b

5:31 AM  

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